I was in the park with my 5 year old daughter Amirtha for a morning walk (a relatively new habit - more on that later). I was walking around the park, while Amirtha was having fun simply running around the park.
All was nice and quiet until 'they' came.
'They' were a father-daughter - the kid aged, maybe, 3 years, and a friend of the fathers. They looked like out-of-towners by the looks and dress - The adults were wearing a
lungi and shirt.
As usual, Amirtha took an instant liking to the kid - like any kid would take to another, tried to befriend the kid. The kid was shy. Amirtha went her way.
That should have been the end of it. I went around a couple of more rounds, and then noticed that the father was taking encouraging the child to go up the slide (which the child was scared to) and climbed up the stair with the child in hand.
When he reached the top, the kid was terrified, and wouldn't let go of him.
I was irritated as the slide would not take the man's weight and would give way - rendering it useless for other kids. In fact there is a notice on the park wall saying that the play area was meant for kids only (and another prohibiting cycling and playing ball too). Well, does our man care?!
I requested him to climb down - for the first time, and then yelled the second time, and then swore at him the third time. The man reluctantly came down.
Feeling pity for the guy, I asked Amirtha to help the kid.
The kid was still scared, and Amirtha didnt care about the kid falling down (neither did she care for herself - but well, you know, kids!). The first time, the kid saw Amirtha go up and down, the second time, ventured herself a bit, and third time was all excited because she could now do the greatest thing in the world - climb up 10 bars, and slide down - wow, what fun!
5 minutes is all it took for her to learn.
We as parents try to 'protect' them while all the time killing their instincts to face new situations and grow up. I heard somebody say that giraffe calves fall down like 6 feet when they are born - but they pick themselves up and start running within an hour (
source - with thanks) Why are we afraid to let our kids learn by themselves? We dont trust them enough - our adult mind is filling with doubts and insecurity, and fear of failing, and of getting hurt. We impose these thoughts on them and 'assume' that they cannot handle themselves in unfamiliar territory. We are absolutely wrong.
Children have their own gut instincts. They do not venture into the dark, because 'instinct' tells them that it is unfamiliar territory. This fear is well founded, and in proportion to the kids capability and self-esteem.
Trying to 'protect' them while playing in a relatively safe playing area, while around other kids? Well, thats over protection. We are killing their self confidence.
Well, the story doesnt end here.
Another 5 minutes, and another girl aged around 8 comes around in a bicycle, and all three are happily set running around the park, developing a peer relationship - and of course ego and competition among all the other things they learn when we socialize. Very soon, none of them want to go back home - the park is 'their' territory and they dont want to leave.
I sat beside that father watching his kid do amazing new things that he never thought was possible. It was fascinating - let go of your kid - They are meant to be winners by themselves.
photo credit:
Getting to Know the Ropes via
photopin (license)
